Understanding Attachment Styles in Relationships

The way you bonded with caregivers in childhood continues to influence your relationships today. Understanding your attachment style is the first step toward healthier connections.

The Four Attachment Styles

🟢 Secure Attachment

Comfortable with intimacy and independence. Trusts others and can express needs clearly. This is the healthiest style and can be developed at any age.

🔵 Anxious Attachment

Craves closeness but fears abandonment. May seek constant reassurance. Often feels "too much" in relationships.

🟠 Avoidant Attachment

Values independence highly. May pull away when things get too close. Often appears self-sufficient but struggles with vulnerability.

🔴 Disorganized Attachment

Mixed anxious and avoidant patterns. Desires closeness but fears it. Often results from trauma or inconsistent caregiving.

Can Attachment Styles Change?

Yes! While attachment patterns form early, they can be modified through:

Therapy — Working with an attachment-informed therapist
Secure relationships — Experiencing consistent, caring connections
Self-awareness — Recognizing patterns and choosing different responses
Mindfulness — Building capacity to stay present in triggering moments

"The good news is that our brains remain plastic throughout life. With the right support, we can develop 'earned secure' attachment."

— NCG Clinical Team

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